Tuesday, December 28, 2010


There's a season, a time, for everything under the sun...
God alone knows when the seasons, the times, are right.
And so I wait.
Because I know He makes all things beautiful, in His time- if we allow Him to.

Not always sure what all I am waiting for, but tonight I am certain of a few things:
That my God is good.
That He has my best interest, and the interests of His Kingdom in mind. Always.
That I do not know what's best.
That I do not deserve what's best.
That He delights in me.
That I fall short of His Glory too often.
That He paid for my shortcomings, my transgressions in full.
That He wants to give me victory over sin even more than I want it.
That He can be trusted.

That no matter how long I have to wait for all that I am waiting for, He has waited infinitely longer than I have ever waited. He's waited for us-for me- to surrender to Him each and every day.
He's waited for a people to reflect His Character so that He can end our hearts' waitings.

He's waited for a people to take Him at his Word. It is sure and steadfast.
And so I bend low and lay my head at His feet, and find my fears pass away with my hearts' burdens.
I surrender.

Hope. It's waitings' companion, it's twin.
Faith, it holds the twins up.
Love, it is what my faith, hope, and waiting rest on.

Psalm 27:14
Psalm 38:15
Psalm 130:5
Micah 7:7
Isaiah 65:24

Monday, December 6, 2010

Rude and Forbidding

"The King of glory stooped low to take humanity. Rude and forbidding were His earthly surroundings. His glory was veiled, that the majesty of His outward form might not become an object of attraction. He shunned all outward display. Riches, worldly honor, and human greatness can never save a soul from death."
 The Desire of Ages, pg 43
After my fair share of what sure seemed at the moment to be  rude and forbidding situations, this quote lifted my spirits. I realize I have experienced next to no rudeness in my life, compared to Jesus...
It breaks my heart, seeing individuals being treated unfairly and unjustly, especially when a loved one is passing, or they themselves are.

I left a certain place today feeling the burden of rudeness and unjustness towards me and other folks oppresive, and almost inferior or somehow guilty because of it. But this quote helped me realize that there is diginity even in that. Jesus truly stooped low to allow His name and character, His very Person, to be so unjustly treated and ill spoken of, all for the sake of those very people who were tearing His heart apart-- He brought honor to even the lowliest of circumstances.
After reading the above quote, I don't feel half as bad about the difficult and oppressive circumstances from today. I feel privilged to have been allowed to experience a tiny fraction of the pain Jesus must have felt when He Himself was unfairly and unjustly treated, and most of all, I never want to forget the intense heartache I experienced when I saw the helpless ones, the weak ones, ill spoken of, mocked, and maybe worst of all, neglected.
Lord help me to never ever, ever allow any cruel or unkind feelings back into my heart... I know they every once in a while find  an abode in it, but after feeling that dark slimy worm of coldness, disdain and cruelty from someones elses actions towards me and others  slither into the pit of my stomach, and nearly suffocate my heart with its hostility and hardness, I am determined. No hardness, no dark slimy worm of evil will find its way into my heart, with Gods help.
And only with His help. On my own, I know too well that I am just as cold and hard-hearted as that dark, slimy worm.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

My Little Kitty

It's funny how much a scrawny little kitty can teach me about myself, God, and our relationship with each other, along with various other odds and ends...
I still havent thought of a good name for this kitten who from the moment I saw her stole my heart, and who daily since has been opening my eyes to love, letting go, trusting, and hoping when it seems, well--hopeless.

She has blue eyes, and is a heavenly tan/greyish color, with black legs and partly black face... she is a siamese, and when I say she, I am assuming... But either way, she is beautiful.
I don't know from day to day if I will see her at our little meeting place, but so far, each day, I have found her.
I don't know if I will be able to provide a better life for her once I finish school...  I don't know if she'll let me take her away if I could. I don't know if she will ever fully trust me.
Pretty much everything but my love for her is uncertain... But, surprisingly, for now atleast, that is enough.
The uncertain part of things I leave up to God, and yes, I constantly remind Him of them, but I trust Him to work that part out, and focus on doing what I can do, and that is love her, and thus far, provide food and some physical touch.
The first time I brought her food, she was more terrified of humans than any other cat I have ever come across. She bolted if she even saw me, until she smelled the food, and then approached it only after I backed away a good 10 feet, even though she was trembling with anticipation and hunger... Even after I backed away, she didn't eat, she just watched me, while sniffing the food. Not until I walked away did she eat.

Each day has seen a slight improvement... The transformation I have been able to be a part of has been so amazing. It has taught me so much about my relationship with Jesus, and how patient He is. I am still barely starting to process it all, especially since 7 hour classes, and a host of other exhausting school related activities drain me of nearly all brain power.
Tonight I had a minute, since all the NCLEX prep question CD's that have to get done are currently in use.
So I knew I had to write here, and remember a moment in time.  A moment of peace and hope in the midst of hectic schedules and endless responsibilities. I want to remember this moment, because I don't have very many left in school.
in 14 days, God willing, I graduate.
And speaking of my as of yet unnamed Kitty, I must go feed her!
Attempting to trust, SMS

Thursday, November 18, 2010

As Stars

"They that be wise shall shine as the brightness of the firmament; and they that turn many to righteousness as the stars for ever and ever. "
Daniel 12:3

Monday, November 8, 2010

Such Faith

"'The Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart. 1 Sam. 16:7. '

Often we regard as hopeless subjects the very ones whom Christ is drawing to Himself. . . . Many will be in heaven who their neighbors supposed would never enter there. Man judges from appearance, but God judges the heart.

Some among the redeemed will have laid hold of Christ in the last hours of life, and in heaven instruction will be given to these, who, when they died, did not understand perfectly the plan of salvation.

To Jesus in His agony on the cross there came one gleam of comfort. It was the prayer of the penitent thief. . . . In Jesus, bruised, mocked, and hanging upon the cross, he sees the Lamb of God, that taketh away the sin of the world. Hope is mingled with anguish in his voice as the helpless, dying soul casts himself upon a dying Savior. "Lord, remember me," he cries, "when thou comest into thy kingdom." Quickly the answer came. . . . Verily I say unto thee today, Thou shalt be with Me in paradise.

Such faith may be represented by the eleventh hour laborers who receive as much reward as do those who have labored for many hours. The thief asked in faith, in penitence, in contrition. He asked in earnestness, as if he fully realized that Jesus could save him if He would.
Those whom Christ commends in the judgment may have known little of theology, but they have cherished His principles. . . .

Among the heathen are those who worship God ignorantly, those to whom the light is never brought by human instrumentality, yet they will not perish. Though ignorant of the written law of God, they have heard His voice speaking to them in nature, and have done the things that the law required. Their works are evidence that the Holy Spirit has touched their hearts, and they are recognized as the children of God.

How surprised and gladdened will be the lowly among the nations, and among the heathen, to hear from the lips of the Savior, "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me"! How glad will be the heart of Infinite Love as His followers look up with surprise and joy at His words of approval! "

Ellen G. White. Maranatha, pg 321

Lord, you know that I have not always labored on your side of things. You know that I have very little theological knowledge. I hardly know how to defend the basics of what I believe... I have fallen short time and time again, and I have saddened your Holy Spirit many times.
But I have heard you, and I want to answer. I cannot though. Not without your help.
Even at this elleventh hour, you want me... And you will accept me, and you will help me. I cannot fathom it, but in faith I reach forth and ask you to accept my heart, and use me.
It is all in your power, and through your name.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Such A Companionship as He [She] Chooses

"He shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways". Ps. 91:11.

"Not until the providences of God are seen in the light of eternity shall we understand what we owe to the care and interposition of His angels. Celestial beings have taken an active part in the affairs of men. They have appeared in garments that shone as the lightning; they have come as men, in the garb of wayfarers. They have accepted the hospitalities of human homes; they acted as guides to benighted travelers. They have thwarted the spoiler's purpose and turned aside the stroke of the destroyer.

Though the rulers of this world know it not, yet often in their councils angels have been spokesmen. Human eyes have looked upon them. Human ears have listened to their appeals. In the council hall and the court of justice, heavenly messengers have pleaded the cause of the persecuted and oppressed. They have defeated purposes and arrested evils that would have brought wrong and suffering to God's children. To the students in the heavenly school, all this will be unfolded.

Every redeemed one will understand the ministry of angels in his own life. The angel who was his guardian from his earliest moment; the angel who watched his steps, and covered his head in the day of peril; the angel who was with him in the valley of the shadow of death, who marked his resting place, who was the first to greet him in the resurrection morning--what will it be to hold converse with him, and to learn the history of divine interposition in the individual life, of heavenly co-operation in every work for humanity!

With the word of God in his hands, every human being, wherever his lot in life may be cast, may have such companionship as he shall choose. In its pages he may hold converse with the noblest and best of the human race, and may listen to the voice of the Eternal as He speaks with men. As he studies and meditates upon the themes into which 'the angels desire to look' (1 Peter 1:12), he may have their companionship."

Ellen G. White,  Maranatha - Page 315

Monday, October 25, 2010


"Seek the Lord for wisdom in every emergency. In every trial plead with Jesus to show you a way out of your troubles, then your eyes will be opened to behold the remedy and to apply to your case the healing promises that have been recorded in His Word". 2SM 273.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

However Dear

"Let nothing, however dear, however loved, absorb your mind and affections, diverting you from the study of God's word or from earnest prayer. Watch unto prayer. Live your own requests. Co-operate with God by working in harmony with Him."~EGW, Pr 79.

Monday, September 13, 2010


"Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit." John 12:24
Something died today, in my heart. It needed to die. I thought it had died long ago.
But this morning I realized it was still very much alive.
Sometimes letting something go, or an idea of something, isn't always easy.
But it must be given up. Buried.
And so I let it go this morning, I buried it.
And when one buries something, they don't expect to pick it back up again, because it's dead.
So this morning I mourn, because of something lost... But rejoice, because in faith, I hope one day this death will result in much fruit.

Monday, September 6, 2010

In God

"Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God."
Psalm 42:11

Friday, September 3, 2010


"The Lord will certainly hear and answer the prayers of His workers if they will seek Him for counsel and instruction." ~EGW~  Pr.34

Saturday, August 14, 2010

him who has an ear

"To the angel of the church in Laodicea write: These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God's creation. I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see. Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me. To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches."

Tuesday, August 10, 2010


"Prayer is the breath of the soul. It is the secret of spiritual power. No other means of grace can be substituted and the health of the soul be preserved."E.G.W. ~ Pr 12.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Renewed Consecration

I heard Mark Finleys sermon for ASI 2010 this afternoon, and I am so glad I did. He gave a similar message last november here at SAU, and I needed the reminder.
I'm saddened to say that since that sermon in november to hearing it again today, not much has changed in my life... At least not as much as I would like. And I guess in some areas I have even taken some steps back.
I have a lot of head-knowledge it seems, but so little heart-knowledge...
And how commited, how consecrated and dedicated and sold-out am I for Christ? If I was 100% sold out for Christ, would I even struggle with the world and its allurements? With self and it's demands?
I am grateful to God for another merciful reminder of the kind of Christian I should be, the kind I want to be.
I was tremendously blessed by hearing a man share about his conversion experience during the 2 o'clock afternoon meeting for ASI that was airing on 3ABN. He now works for Laymen Ministries. I can't remember his name, but I do know that I was deeply touched and encouraged by it.
This Sabbath has been a special day for me, and I am glad for the internet that enabled me to hear/watch what I did.
I renew my consecration to my King this night.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

A Wonderful Thing

"It is a wonderful thing that we can pray effectually; that unworthy, erring mortals possess the power of offering their requests to God… We may utter words that reach the throne of the Monarch of the universe. We may speak with Jesus as we walk by the way, and He says, I am at thy right hand." E.G.W.[Prayer (Pr) Page 7]

Tuesday, July 27, 2010


WHY DO WE-- WHY DO I HESITATE from giving up my life as I know it?
Watch this little video, and let it sink in. Embrace it. Don't hesistate. Please. It's worth it.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Loss = Gain

"Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ."
Phil. 3:8

Thursday, May 13, 2010


I just found this awesome site that makes me so happy.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Don't Stop.

"Don't stop praying for something, just because it may take days or months or even years for you to see the results." I heard that statement on the radio today, and it was just what I needed to hear.

There is this dream of mine that fades and grows dim sometimes, probably due to my lack of faith. But today I am determined to not let the fire grow any dimmer, but to only burn brighter. Gods timing is never off, so I am content to trust Him with this desire that is very near and dear to my heart, especially since I know it is even more near and dear to His heart.
 I was reminded today that I am not the only one with this desire, and that God truly IS doing something about it. He knows that I am more than willing. He knows the growth that I need to grow through before I can serve Him in that capacity. Although my heart feels like it might burst from the huge need I see out there, I choose to wait on God's timing, trusting Him to make use of me when He chooses, and how He chooses. In the meantime, I will keep praying. Praying for laborers, praying for that place of service that He has for me in the future, and praying for faithfulness to the duties presented me in the present.

And from my favorite devotional site comes this thought
"There is no limit to the usefulness of one who, by putting self aside, makes room for the working of the Holy Spirit upon his heart, and lives a life wholly consecrated to God." DA 250, 251

Saturday, April 10, 2010


"The Christian's life is not a modification or improvement of the old, but a transformation of nature. There is a death to self and sin, and a new life altogether. This change can be brought about only by the effectual working of the Holy Spirit."
DA 172.
"The character of Christ is to be our character. We are to be transformed by the renewing of our hearts. Here is our only safety. Nothing can separate a living Christian from God."
Maranatha, pg. 109

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

A Whisper in the Wind

There's a whisper in the wind, and this blog is here to catch it's breaths, its words as I hear them. I want to live gently enough to feel, be silent enough to hear, and small enough to accept, its guidance. This wind brings the whispers of my Creator. My natural heart listens to everything else but His whispers, but in my soul has stirred a desire to make the listening and following of this gentle whisper my priority.

Long enough have I followed the shouting of my own heart. I bid it farewell.
More thoughts to come.