It's funny how much a scrawny little kitty can teach me about myself, God, and our relationship with each other, along with various other odds and ends...
I still havent thought of a good name for this kitten who from the moment I saw her stole my heart, and who daily since has been opening my eyes to love, letting go, trusting, and hoping when it seems, well--hopeless.
She has blue eyes, and is a heavenly tan/greyish color, with black legs and partly black face... she is a siamese, and when I say she, I am assuming... But either way, she is beautiful.
I don't know from day to day if I will see her at our little meeting place, but so far, each day, I have found her.
I don't know if I will be able to provide a better life for her once I finish school... I don't know if she'll let me take her away if I could. I don't know if she will ever fully trust me.
Pretty much everything but my love for her is uncertain... But, surprisingly, for now atleast, that is enough.
The uncertain part of things I leave up to God, and yes, I constantly remind Him of them, but I trust Him to work that part out, and focus on doing what I can do, and that is love her, and thus far, provide food and some physical touch.
The first time I brought her food, she was more terrified of humans than any other cat I have ever come across. She bolted if she even saw me, until she smelled the food, and then approached it only after I backed away a good 10 feet, even though she was trembling with anticipation and hunger... Even after I backed away, she didn't eat, she just watched me, while sniffing the food. Not until I walked away did she eat.
Each day has seen a slight improvement... The transformation I have been able to be a part of has been so amazing. It has taught me so much about my relationship with Jesus, and how patient He is. I am still barely starting to process it all, especially since 7 hour classes, and a host of other exhausting school related activities drain me of nearly all brain power.
Tonight I had a minute, since all the NCLEX prep question CD's that have to get done are currently in use.
So I knew I had to write here, and remember a moment in time. A moment of peace and hope in the midst of hectic schedules and endless responsibilities. I want to remember this moment, because I don't have very many left in school.
in 14 days, God willing, I graduate.
And speaking of my as of yet unnamed Kitty, I must go feed her!
Attempting to trust, SMS