Sunday, February 27, 2011

4 years

Four years ago to the day, I was starting my new job in a new apartment, new city, new state. One that God miraculously opened up, just like today.
And this past week, I was asked to begin my new job on the next Sunday, which I didn't realize was the 27th until it hit me while washing dishes 2 days later... Yes, I was so surprised. God and I, we have this understanding. Dates are very special to me. I know it's probably silly, but even though I'm not a math person, I am a numbers person. Numbers, and what they represent.
I had hoped/wished earlier in the year that God would somehow give me a job on the anniversary of my previous one... But I didn't even check the calender to see what day the 27th would fall on--that thought being so much a wish and not really based on reality. I didn't even stop to think that maybe that day would fall on a Saturday, or a Sunday, in which case would've been the end of my wishful thinking.
In any case it's a good thing I didn't stop to look at my calender. God surprised me. I had totally stopped thinking about February 27th as the month went on. Not until Thursday, the 24th, did it hit me. And boy was I ever surprised! I second-guessed myself, and had to check to make sure I had the dates right.
God has consistently made certain dates special for me, and He never stops surprising me by it.
Even though I didn't get the kind of job I thought God wanted me to have, or that I thought I wanted, I got something even better, and one that started on a Sunday of all days, which gave me that beautiful gift of another set of numbers. These dates, numbers, they remind me of God, of how He's led me, and provided for me. They are like lampposts that light my path, from the past and into my future.
Even though this job is temporary, I know had it just for me. Even the way I came across it has a story, but that's for another day, another time.
I am just in awe though, of how God loves me. He could love me, and ignore certain dates, certain numbers. But no, He takes notice of the littlest of things. And the more I pay attention, the more I realize that He is always working in my behalf, He is always blessing me. He just wants me to notice, and thank Him.

Friday, February 25, 2011


"The Spirit came upon the waiting, praying disciples with a fullness that reached every heart. The Infinite One revealed Himself in power to His church. It was as if for ages this influence had been held in restraint, and now Heaven rejoiced in being able to pour out upon the church the riches of the Spirit's grace.

The outpouring of the Spirit in the days of the apostles was the "former rain," and glorious was the result. But the latter rain will be more abundant.

To the end of time the presence of the Spirit is to abide with the true church. But near the end of earth's harvest a special bestowal of the spiritual grace is promised, to prepare the church for the coming of the Son of men. This outpouring of the Spirit is likened to the falling of the latter rain; and it is for this added power that the Christians are to send their petitions to the Lord of the harvest "in the time of the latter rain." In response, "The Lord shall make bright clouds, and give them showers of rain." . . .

Those only who are constantly receiving fresh supplies of grace will have power proportionate to their daily need and their ability to use that power. Instead of looking forward to some future time when, through a special endowment of spiritual power, they will receive a miraculous fitting up for soul winning, they are yielding themselves daily to God, that He may make them vessels meet for His use. Daily they are improving the opportunities for service that lie within their reach. Daily they are witnessing for the Master wherever they may be, whether in some humble sphere of labor in the home or in a public field of usefulness." My Life Today - Page 60 ~ emphasis added

Saturday, February 19, 2011

His Gift

God has been doing some amazing things in my life the past few weeks/months.
And He has given me some very special tokens of His infinite and limitless love for me.
He has grown me in ways I'd always dreamed of but never thought possible for me.  He has taught me more about spirituality, about His character, about things of eternity and heaven in just a few short weeks than in my whole life prior.
For so long I struggled to earn salvation, to make things 'happen' on my own, often without realizing what I was doing. Some words that summarize my walk with God for many years are: unbelief. fear. guilt.
I had loads and loads of unbelief. I believed in God, I believed in His transforming power--just not in my life. I didn't believe there was very much hope for me... Hadn't I tried day after day, year after year, and nothing had changed?
I wish I could pin-point a time, a moment where it all fell together. But I can't. And I honestly think the story is just starting to be written. I am just now being awakened from the dead, and much is left to be learned, understood.

The simplicity of the things I have been taught so far (much of it stuff that I'd heard before, but it never really registered) has truly blown me away. It's so simple, God is still training me to stop trying to make it more complicated.
I have found so much freedom, I'm almost hesitant to accept it, it's so full and so abundant.
Each day I feel like my eyes have been opened for the first time, each day the beauty of what I have been given has to be grasped and I have to accept that it's true.
I have such a long way to go in my spiritual journey. Such a long way.
But God doesn't ask me to worry about that. He actually tells me not to worry.
Instead He only asks for my heart, one day at a time. He asks me to live each moment in submission, and to simply accept His gift of salvation, no earning required.
It might sound like I've arrived, like I live out the above sentence perfectly each day. But I don't. At this point I probably spend more time stumbling than standing. I'm like a babe just learning to walk! But if I hold His hand, even in the stumbling  He is glorified, He can cover me, His Righteousness makes God the Father see me walking tall and steadfast.
On my own I will never walk straight or without stumbling. On my own I can't even stand. And that's the beauty of it! Jesus gets all the glory! It's all His, anything good or noble or holy or godly.

I must accept the Gift, believe the Gift is mine, and never ever think I earned it! I can boast in nothing but the cross. The very second I begin to believe that somehow I deserve it, I earned it, or I made it happen, I fall from Grace, and there is no Gift. The gift is given when I see my filthy rags for what they are, and plead His merits.
My heart is so full of gratitude.

Friday, February 11, 2011

So Rare

"Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;"
~1 Corinthians 13:4-5.

Love suffers kind.
The 13th chapter of 1 Corinthians has always fascinated me, and from my daily verse website the above verses reminded me that it's been awhile since I really sat down and read that chapter.
True love is a lot of work, and doesn't come naturally to us human beings- at least not to me.
It doesn't come easily to me to be patient, suffer long. It doesn't come naturally to be unselfish and always speak and act kindly, and not get frustrated and not keep a record of wrongs.
This heavenly love is so rare. But even if it is nearly non-existent on this planet, I have caught glimpses of it from my Master, and the more I meditate on this Love, the more glimpses I catch from His heart.
One day I will see Him face to face, and I do not want to be ashamed for not having the courage to love as He loved, just because it didn't come naturally to me.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

We Know Nothing

"Our heavenly Father has a thousand ways to provide for us of which we know nothing. Those who accept the one principle of making the service of God supreme, will find perplexities vanish and a plain path before their feet."
Ministry of Healing, pg 481